So… you had a miss 😅 Now what?
The 4-step reset to bounce back from an accidental spasm orgasm.
Last week we wrote a blog about how to avoid the “point of no return” and, subsequently, avoid having a ‘miss’ (which means having an accidental spasm orgasm).
Less than 5 minutes later we received this:
![]() |
After giggling for an appropriate amount of time, we decided this was a good topic to explore:
What do you do when you have a miss?
Step 1: Cry 😭
Just kidding 😁!
No need to shame yourself. Misses are a totally normal part of the process of becoming tantric.
You may feel disappointed, but try to avoid self-judgement (it doesn’t really help, trust us).
Step 2: Update your ‘Miss Log’
This is your error log where you keep track of your misses by writing down the circumstances that led to them, such as time of day, thoughts you had, who you were with, and so on.
This is useful because lots of factors can affect this and they vary person to person.
For instance, some practitioners have more misses when they play solo, or when playing with their partner on top, or while exploring a certain fantasy, or in the morning right after waking up, etc…
A miss log is an excellent tool for keeping track of and discovering the patterns that lead to misses. This is especially important if you’re just starting out and aren’t aware of these patterns yet.
Step 3: Get back on the horse!
Just keep going and trust that if you’re doing good practice your energy will bounce back fast.
If you’re doing the 21 Day Challenge, start over from Day 1 (you saved those emails, right? 😉).
If it feels right (or whenever your libido naturally returns), continue playing as normal, but you’ll need to be a bit more careful in the next few days, which leads us to…
Step 4: Be careful!
For about a week after you have a miss, the spasm reflex is re-activated. This means there’s a greater risk of more misses during that time.
Keep this in mind and maybe slow down a little more in the next few days to avoid being caught off-guard.
We hope this helps!
And if you haven’t already, sign up for the 21 Day Challenge for free daily support and the workbook with additional tips.
Reach out if you have any questions.
Onwards and upwards,
The TNT Team












