This is what became possible when I stopped focusing on my little button.

Last week, I received this pertinent question from a female workshop participant:

Hi Paris!

I’ve been wondering about something for a while. When women are not supposed to reach a peak orgasm, how does that work, considering that 70–80% of women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm?

What changes during the 21-day challenge that make other kinds of orgasms or pleasure experiences possible?

Great question! Let’s unpack it 🤓

It’s true that many women need to stimulate their clit in order to reach peak orgasm, but we believe that for many of us, this is due to a kind of desensitization.

The clit is full of nerve endings, and it produces a very loud “signal” when stimulated directly and continuously (especially with high-stimulation toys like intense vibrators).

This can drown out the other sensations you could be feeling, and in some cases, even lead to a need for a high-intensity toy in order to orgasm at all.

I used to be this way myself. Before I discovered tantra, I couldn’t orgasm at all without touching my clit.

But, like many women in TNT, I found that when you remove the clit from the equation for a while, the other nerve signals are much easier to feel.

You become more sensitive to all the other sensations you can have in your body, and in your pussy.

But please don’t think we’re anti clit ! Women have fought long and hard to have their little love button recognised. This is a simple matter of neuroplasticity!

By consciously avoiding the clitoral peak orgasm, this opens the door to many non-clitoral pleasures that might not have been possible before, like valley orgasms.

This is in big part what the 21 Day Challenge makes possible.

And that’s why I think this practice is so worthwhile for women in the long-term.

Like everything, whether reaching deeper forms of orgasms is true for a specific person or not is up to them. But for me, and most women in our workshops, this is absolutely true.

And honestly, once I realized what I could feel if I just stopped overfocusing on it, I wasn’t tempted to orgasm on my clit again.

If you want to dive deeper into the neurology and the effects of tantra on the female body, I highly recommend (re-)reading 50 Misconceptions of Sex this Summer.

You can even access Chapter 2, which explores the myth that “The Clitoris is the Woman’s Best Friend”, right now for free!

Click here to read the free sample.

I hope this answer helps!

Xx Paris
TNT Team

P.S. please keep in mind that the 21 Day Challenge is only the first step into Tantra. It supports you in moving beyond the regular spasm orgasm, regaining attraction to your partner, and maintaining higher levels of sexual energy.

But further work, such as releasing shame, deep vaginal massage, and learning to circulate energy through the spine, is just as important in making other kinds of pleasure experiences possible.

We explore this in our Level 1&2 workshops.